Who needs porn when you can look at this?
Automotive PhilosophyEnter into the Zen garden of my opinions. Nothing here is rooted in numbers or common sentiment. The arguments made are supported by witchcraft, stereotypes, and sayings such as ‘that’s the way we’ve always done it’. My automotive mental illness might be contagious, you've been warned.  

What a giant prick I’d be - to destroy a perfectly good engine, and turn its guts inside out. It would be the equivalent to shooting and gutting an albino Rhino, only to do a European (skull) style mount. I want to be the taxidermist without class, without sense, and give all Ferrari owner’s the middle finger whist putting a mustache on the Mona Lisa.

The shear amount of human knowledge put into all this... I’mma going to put my smelly boots on it.
Image: eBay

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This is a 2017 Ferrari LaFerrari (translated Ferrari TheFerrari for those of you uncultured to notice) engine with 789hp! This is a naturally aspirated VEE-TWELVE. It gets its air the same way you and I do. Naturally. That is astonishing. Gobs of power without any of the super or turbo mumbo-jumbo.

Worlds worst eBay description: 2017 FERRARI LA FERRARI ENGINE with 20 miles ... very important.. Ferrari will not build no more Laferrari engine for stock ... so get it while you can

Now before you go and find a LaFerrari needing an engine, stop and think of the possibilities this F140FE engine could power...

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  • Nissan 240sx?
  • Sandrail?
  • Short schoolbus?
  • Barstool?
  • Minivan?
  • Lawn tractor?!!!
All joking aside, I do want to do this, but for far cheaper than the asking price of this one...
Image: eBay

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Or maybe just turn it into a coffee table? That’s my suggestion. Who doesn’t want to come home to an angry spouce, several insane children, a lazy dog, and a large mess of suburban living, to be able to put your feet up on $800,000 of coffee table.

Sign me up! What else in life could make you happier knowing your feet are resting upon the soul crushing debt of four average families? I wonder how many SPCA animals you could save for the same money? No one should be thinking about that now! We need the worlds most expensive ottoman!

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I think I’ll go down to my local bank and see how much financing I can get to buy this thing... then sell some drugs, my first born child, and most of my blood and semen... might be 1/4 of the way to the goal after that...